Have you ever wondered what World Mental Health Day really is and what it can actually mean after loss? Welcome back to another episode of the Growth After Loss podcast. I'm Dr. Mari Marquez. World Mental Health Day is observed each year on October 10th. it was first observed in 1992 by the World Federation for Mental Health. Now, the purpose was to raise awareness about mental health issues around the world and encourage people, organizations, and governments to support mental health care. It was created because mental health has often, and even today, been pushed into the background. If you're listening to this, how have you pushed your own mental health aside? I am sure you have also heard about, Mental Health Awareness Month, which is actually observed in May. this was, observed Here in the United States, and it was founded in 1949 by Mental Health America. people have been working publicly to educate others, um, help reduce the stigma of mental health, and create more compassionate systems of care for more than 75 years. But for many people, being able to speak honestly about what they are carrying still feels new.
when someone we love dies it changes more than your emotions. It can change how you sleep, how you focus, the energy that you have, the patience that you feel, how safe your world seems, how you make decisions, how you even relate to people.
you may still be doing what you need to do, going to work parenting, paying your bills, returning messages, showing up for events, taking care of the people and the things that need to be taken care of.
But from the outside, people may assume that you are okay because you're functioning, But functioning is not always the same as, you know, feeling okay, feeling grounded or steady.
grief and pain shows up randomly, you know, on any given Tuesday, on a Friday, when you are cooking breakfast, when you're sitting in a meeting or even driving your children to school. this is where I think World Mental Health Day can actually offer, something beyond awareness it can actually remind us that we do not have to wait until we're in this crisis mode to acknowledge that something feels heavy, that there's something calling our attention. You can be deeply capable and also be deeply tired.
according to the American Psychiatric Association, while most people adapt to loss over time,
An estimated 4 to 15% of bereaved adults go on and experience prolonged grief disorder. This is also known as complicated grief. And with that risk spiking significantly higher for those who have lost, a child or experience a sudden or traumatic death of someone they love.
that statistic is not meant to scare you in any way. it is simply a reminder that support matters, and that no one should have to wait until they are in this crisis mode or this breaking point before they are allowed to receive care.
Because I've been there. I've been to that breaking point, and, um, I can tell you that engaging in support, reaching out for support continuously, did save my life.
my work is grounded in post-traumatic growth research.
And post-traumatic growth does not mean that the trauma is good. It does not mean that the loss happened for a reason, or that there's a silver lining associated to it, or that growth is this big incremental thing that you have to achieve after loss. Growth after loss is about recognizing that life can still hold meaning and connection and possibility and direction even after something has changed you.
Growth after loss is both a process and an outcome, and you can see that in the work of Dr. Tedeschi and Dr. Calhoun with post-traumatic growth theory, which they have an over 30-plus years of research on how people can change after loss. Some people over time do notice a change in their priorities, they may develop a clearer sense of what matters. They may discover a strength they did not know they had, and they may begin to ask different questions about their work, their relationships, family, faith, health, or even their future.
So growth after loss and support does not mean that it erases the pain, that there's a silver lining associated to this. It does not replace the person that you love. It simply means that the loss does not get the final word over every single part of your life. So even though your loved one's death will always be a part of your life, it also means it does not have to be your entire life.
And I say this with a very gentle heart, because depending on where you are in your grief journey, you might hear this and find this insulting. So that is not the intention by all means, but it's important to know that the, there is high importance in engaging and receiving support and, um, sometimes it will, this will take trial and error to find, you know, what support is actually really helping you, through this process.
I want to ask you, what is one thing in your life that you have been carrying in the hardest possible way? Now, this could be making a decision, um, you keep putting off maybe it's a role you have been trying to fill alone. Maybe it's a responsibility that you no longer have the capacity to hold it the same way that you had prior to your loss. say, "You know what?
I'm carrying something big, something huge, and I don't have to carry this alone
And it is also a reminder that your inner life matters as much. Just as much as your loss and your loved one and your precious loved ones matter, your inner life matters, too.
Your aliveness, I talk about this in other podcast episodes, that your aliveness matters just as much. If you're at a place in your journey where you would like private, compassionate, and research-informed support to explore the life you are currently building after loss, then I warmly invite you to explore the one-on-one private pathway through growthafterloss, it is a space to understand what you're carrying, reconnect with what matters, and find direction that feels true to you, Thank you for being here with me today and learning more about World Mental Health Day. I hope that you can meet yourself with a little bit more gentleness and know that support matters, and that you don't have to carry this alone. Until next time, take care.